I take thee as my lawfully wedded wife/husband only if.....

Marriage .. for that matter, even love has become a business dealing now. It is like one company trying to acquire another. only if conditions a,b,c .. z are satisfied. Let me list down some common criteria:

What a 'girl' necessarily wants from the 'guy'

• Guy must be from the U.S - They dont care if the recession is rampant there.. he has to be from the U.S. Not Malaysia.. not Dubai .. not Australia.. only U.S.A. Some go to the extent of saying.. he should be from New York or Chicago.. I dont like Seattle/timbuktoo because aunty next door says the malls are not good there. Soon the condition will go like this I want a guy living in California in Maple avenue.. 1st floor preferable.. in a 3 bedroom apartment.


• Guy must have a flat in the heart of the city - The girl doesnt want him to have a house.. coz that would require a lot of domestic work.. cleaning.. maintaining et all. In the heart of the city, facing the street with centralized a/c. What about the ones who have a flat which is not facing the street? Inelegible bachelors?? Tough luck boys


• Guy must be working in an IT company - Many dont even know what the expansion of IT is. Its jus something thats got to do with the computer. So if a watchman is looking out for a girl, if he is the watchman for an IT company, he is hot property. Apparently only people employed in IT companies can sustain the 'luxurious' lifestyles of these women.. whatever that means.


• Guy must earn minimum 60,000 p.m and must have onsite opportunities in plenty - So guys who earn 59,999 p.m .. you are rejected.. next time perhaps!


• Guy's mother should be dead.. and preferably no sisters - This is to avoid the problem of in-laws torture. So if your mom/sis is alive.. kill them! Else you aint getting nothing.


• Guy should have atleast 2 credit cards (one of which will land up in the girl's purse ultimately) - What if the guy has 5 credit cards and no money? So much for logic. Good luck with the card payment guys!


• Guy must have good wheels - A chauffeur driven Honda civic atleast.. it does'nt matter of she was travelling by a share auto before getting married, but travelling in anything below a Civic will harm her skin.. you know.. UV rays..tch tch.


• Guy must be able to fund overseas trips every now and then - She didnt have a passport till she got married.. but it is mandatory after marriage for pleasure trips necessarily abroad.

What a 'guy' necessarily wants from the 'girl'

• Girl should be fair - If she is dark, he would'nt be able to identify her when the sun sets.. therefore, she needs to be fair.. even of he is the color of a crow.


• Girl should be from a 'good' family - 'good' here implies a rich father-in-law, tons of property in her name and tons of dowry


• Girl's family should be supportive - This means.. if the guy is ever thrown out from his job, father-in-law must give hard cash of 20 lakhs to help him start his new business.


• Girl must be decent - She should not have any 'guy' friends.. ever! If she does, her character is tainted!


• Girl must be independent - She must be employed.. in a 9-5 job.. earn just lesser than the hubby and come back home.. cook.. clean.. everything. Basically, she must be around when he leaves work, and be back when he is back and look fresh as ever. Whereas even if his office is next door, will come back looking like a doped monkey. If by any chance she is late, she will be accused of being involved in 'unscrupulous' activities. Fair enough!

Whatever happened to working hard together and making it big?? Its all about convenience now. Enetering into nuptials with a guarantee that life will materliastically get better. I like the word spinster.. sounds nice doesn't it?? :-)

..p..