Weird nick names!

Be it school or college, I've had my set of goofy friends who love to stupid crazy things..and carrying that forward, I have worked in two companies and both have provided me with a like-minded set of friends/colleagues.. whatever :P

Something we always do is name the people around us based on looks/characteristics/language/body language (yes.. we are a discriminating lot!). I was just thinking of the names that we had come up with and thought it would be pretty interesting to note them down. (Actual identities will NOT be disclosed)

From college:

• Kosu (mosquito)
• Jannal (Window)
• IO (Instant Orgasm)
• Sams
• Bulb
• Puppy
• Jam Bun
• Vardha
• Blob

From post graduation:

• Bulb mandai
• Aaya mani
• Gumps
• Fish
• Mosquito
• Kooja
• Grinder
• Sips
• Machan
• Anda
• Dori
• Glamor Queen

From office #1

• Oriya
• Pakoda
• Nethralaya
• Banana
• It
• Bit
• Topa
• Moss
• Toss
• Germs
• Bijya
• Korangu Mooju (Monkey face)
• Feminine Gender

From office #2

• Traffic
• Satti
• Muttai Payya (Egg boy)
• Fruit boy
• Eye candy
• Bhondu
• Jiggy
• Bedsheet
• Kams
• Creep
• Ms.Orgasmic
• Oblaqy

I am sure there are tons more and I can't think of it..will update as I remember. Till then, read 'em and ponder over who's who ;)

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An unexpected twist in an ordinary trip

I am gonna break away from my paragraph blogs into something more detailed because I need to do justice to the string of events that happened during my highly eventful trip.

It started out as just another family trip .. just that my nephew joined the bandwagon. A boring train journey and hot weather to greet us at the other end of the journey. After quickly finishing breakfast, we headed out to my dad's native town to start the holy temple visiting.

Dressed in a boring salwar looking more like fruitcake, we headed out. Once we reached we checked into a hotel. Very nice place overlooking the sea.

As I just stopped for a minute to gaze out of the balcony to admire the beautiful blue ocean staring at me with enviable serenity, my eyes just strayed off to the ground and there I saw what was probably the most mysterious yet powerful eyes ever. He was breath takingly handsome. Our eyes met for just a few seconds and I had trouble lifting my gaze off to avoid drooling on his face. Casting stolen glances at him I looked away wondering if I'll ever see him again. Then my mom bellowed.. had to oblige. So I ran back into my room.

We took 2 rooms to accommodate our extended family and I was the ward boy. Had to run between the two rooms to deliver personal messages, schedules, food, water and huggies for the little one. Just when I thought I'll hit the bed, my mom sends me off another delivery to the other room. Sloppily, rubbing my eyes I dragged myself and bumped into someone as the darkness temporarily misled me. In other words, I was 'Sleep-Drunk'. I heard a deep voice say 'Whoa.. I am sorry, I didn't quite see you'. As I tilted my head to see 1) who's the dude with good English in this part of the state? 2) who's the guy taller than me? - I saw those mesmerising eyes again. This time our eyes met for more than a few seconds (I know it sounds like a movie.. but bear with it.) We had a smile on our faces, acknowledging the previous encounter. I started stammering and stuttering.. not able to conjure up anything intelligent to say. Finally after saying 'Err..' for 10 secs continuously, I asked wat I wanted to know - "You stay in this floor?" .. He smiled coz he knew what I was thinking. He said "Yeah..I stay in room 149.. I am here with my sis and mom..temple visiting" I said "I am here temple visiting too :-) with my family". Not knowing what to say after that we just said 'goodnight' and drifted off.

When I went to bed I was thinking of him invariably - He was tall.. around 6 ft.. wheatish complexion, dark hair, eyes that speak volumes, well built, broad chest.. all-in-all .. godly!! Tired and exhausted, I dozed off.

I woke all groggy and I see noone's in the room. Everyone left to see the sunrise without me. Grr.. I always get left behind. I grumpily washed up and suddenly got reminded of Mr.Godly. I was in 148.. he was in 149.. so I opened the door and looked to my right with just my head popping out of the door. The door was slightly ajar and I tried to get a clearer view. Engrossed in my efforts, I didn't hear the footsteps behind me. I suddenly hear an 'ahem' right behind me. With a sheepish look, I turned to see him standing .. again.. I began fumbling for words.. and managed to bring the rest of my body out of the door. I began with 'errr...' routine when he said "I know you were looking for me".. Defensively I said 'NO'..ignoring me he continued saying "Well.. here I am.. Why were u looking for me?".. I was dumbstruck, at a complete loss for words "Don't assume things.. I just wanted to know who was in the next room".. He just said "Next time alter your expression to make me buy that lie" and walked past me. I was flushed.. totally flushed. I was taken aback.. by his guts.. his charm and his confidence. I decided to stay put in the room till my parents return to avoid further embarrassment.

A little while later, I heard voices outside the door. I peeked again despite the 'risks' to see him talking to my parents. I was .. err.. 'worried'. Was he complaining? Ayyo! My mom will kill me! After a painful and worrisome 5 minutes, my parents enter all laughing.. Thought bubble - *Atleast they wont kill me*. My mom said "We were talking to this boy next door .." Me thinks *and....* "they wanted to know how to go about the temple visit.. so me and dad asked them to join us". Me thinks *Am I supposed to be happy? or sad?.. I am confused for now*.

The evening came and we headed off to the temple. He didn't act like he knew me and I was wondering why. Then started the glance exchanging. Everytime I shot off a glance at him, he was there almost anticipating my look. There was this spurt of butterflies running wild in my stomach everytime that happened. This continued all through the evening till we reached the room. All this while he didnt utter a word.. just general acknowledgement and tons of glances. I thought maybe he didn't want to come off as needy so didn't try anything. Just picturing some movie scene , I headed off to the terrace to catch the full moon. We were supposed to leave early next morning. I thought like the hero in the movie, he would also sense that I was in the terrace and come. But he didn't. I sighed and came down when as usual I bumped into him. He said "Varun" .. I was like "eh?".. "That's my name" he said. "I am Priya". "Coming up or going down?" he asked. I lied saying I was going up..So I can spend sometime with him.

After some "err"s we struck up sensible conversation. After some kadalai frying, we were heading back our rooms when he decided to help me down the wall I was perched upon. He held my hand.. for a while more than required and stepped closer to me. I kept telling myself to snap outta it.. for god's sake this is not some movie. But it was almost close to that. We kept looking at each other and me being me.. I started fiddling with my cellphone to avoid the awkwardness and in a desperate attempt to keep my stupid stomach butterflies from flying. We casually exchanged numbers and eluded the romance that was meant to follow by deciding to head back to our rooms.

I finally slept after calming down the butterflies and convincing myself that this is not a dream. I woke up to find just one sms which was from him - It said, "Yesterday was wonderful.. and it was just because of you". I couldn't help but let a smile creep into my face.

We were running late and had to push off. I couldn't see him before we left. But I still had that message that I kept reading over and over again .. hopelessly romantic. When the car was turning away from the hotel , I looked up.. and just saw his silhouette briskly moving. I knew for sure.. he was searching for me. I just left.. wishing that I could relive the previous night.

As fascinating as that sounds .. though that's the trip I would've liked to have, I didn't. Snap outta it people! We (me and my family) just went and visited some temples. I came back with plenty of sunburns, a perfectly terrible tan and the return of my dreaded allergy. Romance? I am glad I can still spell it. :-)

..p..

I found my 'hair' twin yesterday (Remember the episode in friends where Joey finds his 'hand' twin?) . Just that it happens to be a guy. Err..

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My work involves Microsoft powerpoint so much that I have started having dreams in slideshows. Ugh..

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I am the official railway ticket booker. I book tickets for my mom, dad, brother, neighbour, grandpa, sis-in-law, friends, friends of friends, dogs, cats, lizards and the entire bandwagon. So much so that I was offered a privilege card by the railway authorities. Even the guy who designed irctc.co.in would not have explored the website as much as I have. The blue and white haunts me so much that I have dreams of booking tickets. Thu..

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Long time no see

Quite often we come stumble upon friends/relatives/acquaintances who we haven't seen for a while. Pretty normal... ordinary circumstances.. What follows is the uneasy part.

At Inox..
Me: Hey!!!
X: Hey!
Me: Its been so long!
X: Yeah ! Long time no see..
Me: So ... how are u?
X: Am good.. working.
Me: Oh! *not interested.. still* Where are u working?
X: at ABC ltd..
Me: Oh thats nice!
X: What about u?
Me: I am working at blah company.

--Many exclamations later..

X: Nice.. so ur here for which movie?
Me: Blah *Please dont come for the same movie.. I dont know wat else to talk about*
X: Oh! I am going for crap movie
Me: *Thank god* Heard its very good..
X: Yeah..
Me: err...
X: err..
Me: Okay then.. enjoy.. looks like its time for your movie..
X: Yeah yeah *Thank god for that*
Me & X: Bye!

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Its not like I am not happy to see him/her/them. But after this 2 minute conversation I dont know what else to say. Obviously we are not going to exchange numbers under the pretext of staying in touch.. so that dialogue is out of context. I dont want to know if X is married or single or divorced because 'marriage' is forbidden territory in terms of conversation. 'Kids' is a banned topic. That leaves me only with 'Hi.. how are u and where are u working' and an awkward expression which implies I am hunting for topics to avoid the uncomfortable silence.

The worst was this one time at Satyam when I had gone for 'Gothika' with D. I think D had gone to get popcorn.

Arbit voice - Hey !! Priya .. its been so long since I saw you. How are you?
Me - *Staring and incredibly lost*.. ugh..
Arbit voice - How is everybody?
Me - *Everybody = ??* ugh..

(I haven't said a word all this while to this girl who seeems so glad she bumped into me coz I have no damn clue about who she is! )

D - Hi S !!!
D to me - pssssst thats S from school!
Me - OH! so thats how I know you!
S - You didnt recognize me all this while?
Me to myself - *Dont think aloud!!!*

Already I have a problem with placing people.. then comes the problem of having civilized conversation. How much can a little girl (me) take :-( ?

..p..

I dreamed a dream

All our inspirational leaders tell us to dream. You know.. the cliched "Dream big/Chase your dreams/Live your dreams" and what not. But, you see I have a problem. I dream when I am not required to dream. Confused? Let me explain. When you are attending a really boring class, you drift off and move into another dimension .. imagine that happens when u really need to be paying attention!

During the interview at my company
So Priya could you tell us about your work experience?
Me: Well certainly.. I started off as a management trainee in HCL..
(Thought bubble) *Oh our Noida trip was so much fun .. Wonder what X is doing now.. How will it be if we make a trip there now*
And uh... uh... yeah I was in the M&A dept...
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During aerobics class
Instrcutor - 1..2..3..4.. Free step..
Me: (Thought bubble) *Hey.. I am actually getting the steps.. I remember them too.. Btw what was yday's choreography? Need to get to work soon.. Maybe I should catch a movie this weekend. Sigh.. need to go the parlour this week*

By now my hands are legs have completely lost track of the sequence.. and I stand like a tree.. my feet planted firmly on the ground and I have been staring at nothing.

Instructor - C'mon Priya.. dont stop now .. you can do it.. c'mon c'mon..
Me: Huh.. waa??
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You see it?? What do I do now?? I day dream, night dream, evening dream,.. all dreams only..

To dream or not to dream to avoid embarassing situations.. is the big question.

POP! *Bubble burst*

Too many wedding bells.

Looks like girls and boys in my age-group are ripe as hell.

I am attending 7 weddings this month.. Not 1.. Not 2 but.. SEVEN! That's a lot! Everytime I get a a call from someone I barely talk to, I know he/she is calling to yell, "Hey .. Guess what.. I am getting married." I am like "Oh .. Congratulations.. What an unpredictable event!"

Every week I get atleast one mail saying "Another wedding to attend" or "Hi .. I would like to invite all of your for my wedding. Kindly consider this a personal invite and please make it". One girl in particular, who quite obviously didnt want me to attend her wedding sends me a mail like she is asking her manager for leave. "PFA my wedding invite".. who the hell says PFA for a wedding invitation?? Top it all the wedding's in Kerala and I get the invite a few days before the D-Day. Why'd you even PFA ur invite to me lady?

Recently I attended a wedding and met one of my college friends there.
She was like "Hi.. long time.. how're u?"
I notice that in her hand is a baby.
"Oh this is my son. he is one and half months old".
Me - Telling myself *This is a dream.. wake up*. "
"Did you know X is pregnant with her second baby?"
Me - Telling myself *This is not a dream.. its a nightmare. WAKE UP*

Now after the mating, breeding has begun too. (Thats very crude.. but what the hell)

Everytime I attend a wedding, for a second I think "Am I lagging behind?" Then the assurance steps in "This is one race in which I dont mind coming last" :-)

..p..

High School Demographics

We watch a lot of firang high school movies and what is immediately noticeable is the set-up. There are a bunch of popular kids, geeky kids, normal kids and the hero/heroine. Though it seems cinematic, it is kinda true isnt it? Lets define the characters:

1. The popular and mean kid - The most handsome guy/girl in class who most of the geeky or almost non-existent kids in the class have a crush on. The popular kid doesn't even know the names of the rest of the kids in class. The popular girl is the one the seniors have their eye on. The only reason why they would even come by your classroom. The popular kids are the reason why your class is noticed.
2. The popular yet nice kid - They are rare. Despite their popularity, they are in touch with reality. They mingle with everyone. They try to remember the names of other kids in class. They fit in without the high and mighty air around them.
3. The geeky kid - Almost disappearing into the books with thick glasses. Not to be seen anywhere without a book. They are glad to be even spoken to anyone from the popular gang. Teacher's pet. Almost always has a crush on the most popular guy/girl. Wants to have a life.. but doesnt know how to.
4. The invisible kids - They dont fall under any category. They are the ones who disappear into the background. Not many kids remember their names.
5. The funny guy - Every class will have a 'funny' guy. The guy who cannot be taken seriously. The guy who's job is to just mock the teachers/other students. Mostly a friend of the popular kids. He is mostly either very thin or plump. He also likes a girl .. but the girl thinks thats a joke too.
6. The dumb-fuck - Extremely stupid. Never passes tests. Manages to scrape through finals. Complains to the teachers when the popular kids tease him. Almost in the category of non-existents.. But infamous.
7. The girly girl - The dainty darling. The one who is over dramatic. Acts like the world's gonna end even if her nail breaks. Expects all the guys to comfort her when her nail breaks. Cries for the stupidest reasons. Attention-seeker.
8. The tom-boy - The girl who noone thinks of as a girl. The almost buddy girl who also has a girly side, but never shows it coz she knows she cant pull it off. Mostly has a crush on the popular kid.
9. The girl-gang - All girls only.. No boys allowed.
10. The boy-gang - All boys only.. No girls allowed.

I saw these demographics not just in high school.. but also carry-forward till post-graduation, to some extent even till my first work-place. Looks like movies are not so over-dramatized after-all.

I personally belonged to the "Invisible kids" gang. I ventured a bit into the "All girl" gang and was the friend of a popular yet nice kid.

Do drop in a comment and tell me which category you fit into :-)

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Is that what I am??

X talks about a potential love interest

X : You know.. he's sweet...
Me : uh.huh
X : and intelligent...
Me : uh.huh
X : and hilarious!
Me : uh.huh
X : So mature and sensible..
Me : Uh.huh.. Anything else?
X : Well how do I say this.. he is really funny in a dumb way you know.. makes stupid jokes which are funny.. but dumb at the same time and does ridiculous things. Totally DUMB!!
Me : ??? What's that supposed to mean? He's foolish?
X : He's like you.. :-)
Me : *stumped*

New Addition to Girly Crap

Adding on to my woes is a new allergy. Realized I have eruptions on my face too.. which means more good news to me! I have to wear a stupid jacket to protect my arms.. put stupid sunscreen and top it all wear a stole too to cover my mouth and to avoid the allergy from spreading! I look like a terrorist.. really.. A terrorist with a serious lack of fashion sense and color co-ordination!Plus I carry a backpack.. which looks like an ideal place to hide the bomb.

So.. If I am not blogging for a while.. do understand that I have been arrested and bail me out!

..p..

P.S - I am NOT a terrorist! I am just a poor girl with too many issues :-(

Girly Crap

You know.. its tough being a girl. I truly think that's an understatement by itself. I am not gonna go into sentimental bullshit.. rather I'll stick to more of the external appearance part of it. Probably delve a bit deeper into that part. Sigh.. the things we have to do to look the way we do.. however good/bad that maybe!

Waxing
How does it feel to have hot wax on your skin and have it pulled off a second later?? Not good boys.. not good at all. I wish I had my mom's genes in terms of hair growth instead of my dad's. God played a cruel joke on me.. Dont laugh at me up there!

Threading
If waxing is excruciating pain in the fast forward mode, threading is excruciating pain in slow motion. There.. that explains it.

Facial
Unlike many traveling in a/c cars.. zero exposure to sunlight people, I am not lucky. Plus I tan easily.. (this is an extension to god's cruel joke) Therefore, arises the need to do facials. This is where my mom steps in.
Mom: "I read that its good to apply ground potato on ur face"
Me: "Oh! So?? "
Mom: "So I've ground some and kept for you to apply on your face.. *Splat!!* Now keep that on for 30 mins"
Me: "Mom! It itches!!!"
Mom: "Bear with it and dont do so much drama"
Me: *Scratch Scratch*

1 day later
Mom: "X Aunty told me that cream of milk is good for your skin.. "
Me: *Showing my face*
Mom: *Splat!*
Me: "Gooey Shit!"

2 days later
*Splat!*

3 days later
*Splat!*

Splatty splatty splat!!!!!!!!!

Pedicures
Flash news: I have ugly feet.. need to get them 'cleaned' at the parlour. Atleast this is a pleasurable process.. so no problem. :-)

Nailpolish
Something I have to do to make my self look girly. Not only is the damn thing hard to apply.. it chips off in 2 days and I have to use colors to make myself look girly in different ways!

Hair care
God has blessed me with not so nice hair too. Everytime there's a stupid function I've got to sit in the parlour and let them fix my hair. 45 mins! pulling and tugging. Plus Rs.400 :-(

Scaly skin
Answer - Pumice Stone. Rubbing a stone on ur ankles and feet is not exactly fun. That too everyday!

Creams
My favorite part! Why do they have 10,000 skin creams dammit??? I dont even know what those things do! There's mosituriser, there's body lotion, there's a day cream, a night cream, there's a toner, there's cleansing milk, there's a face pack, there's a scrub, there's a hydrating cream, there's a make-up removing cream..... I dont even know the names of the rest! And I need to use these things for glowing skin.. plus there are a 1000 brands that seem the same to me! Graaaaaaaaaah!!!

Make-up
Another favorite area. Eye-liner, kajal, mascara, eye-shadow, eye-lash curler.. Do you stupid boys know how difficult it is to apply eye-liner and kajal??? Its irritating! Lipstick, lip liner, gloss, plus I have to match these colors with my stupid outfit. Foundation, concealer, blush, feels like sandpaper on my face.. too much makes me look like a plastic doll.. too less.. well whats the point??!

Footwear, Clothes, Accessories
Co-ordination.. big time must! Else .. walking fashion disaster. What do I know about fashion?? Umm.. well :-)

Allergy
I have freakin sunlight allergy! I am allergic to sunlight! Why cant I be allergic to shellfish?? Why sunlight? Which means even if its 44 degress C, I need to wear a jacket to cover my hands and neck and carry an umbrella to protect my face wherever I go. I forget one of these.. and I get these pretty looking eruptions.. all over the exposed area! Once again.. thanks for tht too god!

Bags
Fashionable or not.. Screw u.. I'll only carry a backpack.

Its sad.. that despite the fact that we hate you.. we still do all of the above and more.. Just to look good for you. Stupid boys.. I hate you all!

..p..

My personal dictionary

'Random Access' had commented on one of my posts saying I should make a dictionary.. since I have a few favorite words and I keep using them over and over again. That's very true. In fact, my friends are so used to my vocab.. that one day I used the word 'uncouth' and a friend of mine stared at me wide-eyed and open-mouthed. She was like "You dont use such words.. Why did you use 'uncouth'"? I said "Well.. it seemed apt considering the situation". She said "Still.. its you!!" WTF!

So I decided to jot down a few of the words I use when I speak .. These are the words that come outta my mouth atleast 20 times a day:

• Worst (To be pronounced as 'Wuuurstu')
• Bitch
• What the.. !
• Shut up ya!
• Overacting
• Bilady
• Fuckpot (My altered version of crackpot)
• Mad eh?
• Yes eh?
• Useless!

I realized that most of my favorites are abuses. Well.. that's me :D

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