I was watching the movie 'Runaway Bride' the other day and suddenly this morning a certain dialogue popped into my head. I think I found it relevant because I see a lot my friends/acquaintances/family having a similar character.
In the movie Richard Gere is a reporter who meets all the guys Julia Roberts has left at the altar and interviews them on various aspects. One particular question he asks everyone is - "how does she like her eggs?" As odd as it seems, I actually watched the entire movie (the movie as such is not so inspiring even for a chick flick) to know why he asked that to every guy she has ditched.
In a moment of 'repressed emotions letting go' sort of a confrontation, he tells Julia Roberts why he asked that. To every guy she has been with, she has made him believe that she likes the same kind of eggs as he does. Which goes on to prove that, with no guy has she been her own self. She has gone to such an extent to believe that she is what the guy wants but at the altar, its a different story. She cannot imagine living a life with a guy with whom she is not entirely herself that she decides to run away.
In fact, Gere mentions that she likes to make a guy believe that she is the one for him. Not in a deceptive way.. but because she thinks that what she is..momentarily.
Atleast Julia Roberts decided by the end of the movie that she has to be herself. But in reality, there are plenty of people who have given up so much of themselves that they do not have any individuality left. It could be due to the fear of the society, due to lack of understanding of oneself, low confidence but most importantly, its because of constant convincing that this is the only way to be happy.
Its sad that the many of the educated people are this way especially in terms of relationships. Fear of being alone. That fear has dug in so deep that some cannot imagine being single and get into multiple relationships. Some lose identities in relationships and wriggle out when it comes to taking things forward because they cannot imagine spending their life that way (Like Runaway Bride). Some don't even take time to explore themselves.. to understand who they really are.
The whole point of education is to make prudent decisions and understand oneself. It gives us the ability to realize that its okay to be heard and noticed for being what you are instead of getting lost in the crowd.
Relationships are the biggest excuse to hide from surfacing. Not all of course.. generalization would be unjust. But, I know the extent of truth in it because I was one of those people.. who hid under the shield of a relationship shying away from exploring my own self.
Every relationship be it with ur family, with a friend, with a boyfriend/girlfriend, has to give room for your individuality. You have nothing to gain by impressing someone who you dont really care about. Don't lose it, its your biggest strength.
And contrary to what the 'elders' say - losing individuality is not called COMPROMISE! A fine line exists .. see it!
-Been there.. done that
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3 comments:
Very true, nicely written!
:) looks like we watched it at the same time.. the eggs scene hit me hard too, immediately making me think if I am her.. thankfully the answer is a no!
nicely written!
oh good .. finally someone noticed the how does she like her eggs part ..i totally understand what you say about people and their pretensions..and the not-so-wow moment is when she says I like my eggs benedict ..good post ...
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