I have refrained from blogging for some god-knows-what reason, but today I just couldn't resist myself. I needed a place to vent and who better than my 'never complaining coz I didn't bother' blog :P

As you transcend through time and gradually get pulled into new dimensions of life, you are supposed to widen your horizon and gain knowledge in the process. Basically, you are trying to become wise devoid of the gray hair. New school, new college, new work place, new room mates, new colleagues, neighbours and what not? So many different people. Vagaries of nature. Although it is quite fascinating, it actually makes me stop and ponder - Damn, I didn't know there were anomalies such as him/her. And it only gets worse. I can literally count the number of sensible, non-cheap, kind and generous people. Those with character, personality, confidence and attitude narrows the list down a little bit, scratch that - it narrows down the list to single digits.

Everyone/everything has boiled down to money, pompousness, materialistic comforts, physical pleasures, promiscuity, arrogance, convenience and last but definitely not the least insanity.

Words like 'love' and 'happiness' remain romantic illusions. These words have been used so often that the very essence of it has been lost in translation. Everyone claims to have it, but secretly yearn for a pinch of the real deal. I don't know when they will realize that you can NEVER find it especially if you're looking in the wrong places.

Its like trying to find ice cream in a parched desert.
a) Water is a luxury, ice cream is distant.
b) If you do find it, its a bloody illusion.

I am not sure why this is bugging me so much off late, particularly when weed like this has been prevalent for quite sometime now. But, these are things I just cannot digest. I think it's the scripted reality shows, jaded teenagers and retarded young adults I see.


Dictionary for the modern age

1. Relationships = Car, good looks, money, pubs
2. Confidence = Abuse, skimpy clothes and disrespect
3. Independent = Detach from parents, NEVER visit them, call them names, party, zero accountability
4. Money = Life
5. Charity = Buying your new friend a drink
   
6. Love = Dejavu
7. Attitude = Confidence+Independence (according to new dictionary)
8. Marriage = An intertwined relationship with love, money and convenience

Oh! and Btw, 'I love you' is the most abused line. EVER

I am 25 years old and I am not a fucking saint. But I am no commercialized human being either. I am in limbo. But, this limbo is not so bad.

The cellphone

Even though we have grown up to become adults in our 20 somethings, we really havent changed in some aspects. Particularly when it comes to a cellphone. A cellphone is always that new bright and shiny toy which we like to show off for a week after we buy it, but soon there will be that rich kid who will buy a more cooler phone and steal your thunder. Damn the rich kids!

I am no different. My story is not about the rich kid, its about how long the brighness and shinyness lasted. My old phone was on its deathbed. Poor thing had to be put to rest. After the 1000s of times it has been thrown down, it splattered into pieces and still put up a brave front when I glued the pieces together and expected it to work. I have spilt juice, sambhar, water and different kinds of food on it. Yet it never complained. My loyal buddy. Unfortunately his time was up. Therefore me and my friend headed out to find a replacement and get a bargain on the old one.

I had no particular model in mind, I just wanted something asap. We liked a particular Sony Ericsson phone. But we didnt get a good bargain on the old one. After climbing up and down a few shops, I got my bargain. Before they realized that my old phone doesn't get charged and the camera has conked and there is a deadly virus in the phone, I grabbed my new one and ran!

I was beaming. I stole a bargain and I had a bright and shiny new toy on 31st December 2009. Cool! I kept parading with it, showed off to whoever came my way. Messages started flooding my inbox as the new year drew closer. Then at 1:00 am, lightning struck. in a bad way. I peeked into my phone to see the messages when I saw the blank screen staring at me. A blank white screen which refused to show any sign of activity. My heart sank. My brand new phone - conked off within 5 hours of purchase. I thought it was a one time thing, consoled myself, just to see that it repeated itself every 8 hours. WTF !! @#$% !! My new toy/phone didnt last a day let alone last a week! S.O.B !!

Now as I wait patiently for a replacement which I am almost sure I wont get, I have a super fundoo old toy/brick/phone. No camera, no silent mode, half the buttons dont work, and it switches off by itself whenever it feels like. Haunted phone.

Bright, shiny new toy my ass!

X-(

..p..

I am ME.. and I am proud of it

I was watching the movie 'Runaway Bride' the other day and suddenly this morning a certain dialogue popped into my head. I think I found it relevant because I see a lot my friends/acquaintances/family having a similar character.

In the movie Richard Gere is a reporter who meets all the guys Julia Roberts has left at the altar and interviews them on various aspects. One particular question he asks everyone is - "how does she like her eggs?" As odd as it seems, I actually watched the entire movie (the movie as such is not so inspiring even for a chick flick) to know why he asked that to every guy she has ditched.

In a moment of 'repressed emotions letting go' sort of a confrontation, he tells Julia Roberts why he asked that. To every guy she has been with, she has made him believe that she likes the same kind of eggs as he does. Which goes on to prove that, with no guy has she been her own self. She has gone to such an extent to believe that she is what the guy wants but at the altar, its a different story. She cannot imagine living a life with a guy with whom she is not entirely herself that she decides to run away.

In fact, Gere mentions that she likes to make a guy believe that she is the one for him. Not in a deceptive way.. but because she thinks that what she is..momentarily.

Atleast Julia Roberts decided by the end of the movie that she has to be herself. But in reality, there are plenty of people who have given up so much of themselves that they do not have any individuality left. It could be due to the fear of the society, due to lack of understanding of oneself, low confidence but most importantly, its because of constant convincing that this is the only way to be happy.

Its sad that the many of the educated people are this way especially in terms of relationships. Fear of being alone. That fear has dug in so deep that some cannot imagine being single and get into multiple relationships. Some lose identities in relationships and wriggle out when it comes to taking things forward because they cannot imagine spending their life that way (Like Runaway Bride). Some don't even take time to explore themselves.. to understand who they really are.

The whole point of education is to make prudent decisions and understand oneself. It gives us the ability to realize that its okay to be heard and noticed for being what you are instead of getting lost in the crowd.

Relationships are the biggest excuse to hide from surfacing. Not all of course.. generalization would be unjust. But, I know the extent of truth in it because I was one of those people.. who hid under the shield of a relationship shying away from exploring my own self.

Every relationship be it with ur family, with a friend, with a boyfriend/girlfriend, has to give room for your individuality. You have nothing to gain by impressing someone who you dont really care about. Don't lose it, its your biggest strength.

And contrary to what the 'elders' say - losing individuality is not called COMPROMISE! A fine line exists .. see it!

-Been there.. done that

For most of the society, marriage is the single most defining milestone in a person's life.

And its bugging the hell outta me! I HATE THIS!